I signed up for Chinese lessons this week and I'm freaking out about how much time I've wasted over the last two years. Ever since I arrived in Asia my strategy has been to pick up languages as I go. The idea sounds nice on paper. Interact with the locals to learn the "real" language and do self study courses. However:
- The locals most likely to want to have meaningful conversations with you (beyond "hello" and "that's will be 20 kuai") are also the ones with the best English skills, and also the ones who are most interested in learning English from you rather than vice versa
- Figuring out your own style of learning gets very expensive as you buy books and sign up for online courses. Not to mention all the wasted time working on texts either too basic or too advanced. And what do you get to show for it? Some notion of independence, I suppose. An oxymoron... how can language be independent?
- Do you naturally strike up conversations with strangers in your own country? I don't. I'm naturally unfriendly; if I'm smiling at you it's because I want something from you. When it was rare that I met mandarin speakers, the language thing would motivate me to start babbling. But nowadays I'm submerged in a mandarin speaking society. I've just got to a point where I view my fellow citizens more as people to avoid bumping into on the street, rather than language partners.
The idea of learning on your own is fundamentally flawed. Now, in my defense I should mention that I did sign up for private tuition in Hong Kong earlier this year. However, I quit after a couple of weeks after I found my tutor was more interested in telling me his life's story in English.
And now I've attended only two classes here in Shanghai. The language institute is called Enjoy Mandarin, I must admit I have no idea how it compares to other schools but there is really nothing I can complain about. And during my fourth group class hour, it suddenly happened. I was sitting there actually conversing in Mandarin, thinking in Mandarin, understanding Mandarin. Don't get me wrong, we're talking about extremely basic Mandarin, but somehow I was suddenly in the language. Why? Because my fellow students are on the same level as me, and the teacher has by now learned my level and so speaks so that we can all understand.
The feeling of suddenly being in the language was amazing. Kind of like when you exercise and hit that point where your body suddenly doesn't feel tired anymore and you feel like you could run and run and run.
Ok so i'm not a complete moron. In two years I've managed to reach up to intermediate level, including learning the bloody characters. But it's not my intelligence that's in question (nor my taste in clothes, which is admirable to say the least). It's my wisdom. If I had joined group lessons two years ago, imagine where I'd be today. I'd probably be fluent. I'd probably have a girlfriend. Today I learned to say "let's calm down and talk about it" in Chinese. How useful that would have been a year ago!
Speaking of girlfriends. The love of my life has reconsidered her advice to me (that I should go screw myself). She's still not listening to any ideas about marriage, kids or Texas. But with my new-found language skills I'm sure I'll soon talk some sense into her.
